whispers

People whispering, or talking in low voices behind me has to be on my, "list of top five annoyances."  Clearly because I am paranoid and self-obsessed enough to believe that their conversation has something to do with me ... in other words ... I think it sounds like some type of malicious gossip.  Also, though, I think it conjures a memory of a time in my life when I was old enough to know I had done something wrong and I would be punished but my parents had to decide upon the punishment. 

I could hear wherever it was a was told to wait, low, muffled voices filled with annoyance and irritation and a sound I've learned to identify as dissappointment.  It has a definately cadence, dissapointment, a resigned and peturbed exhale followed by a statement that should be charged with emotion but somehow is void. Like, "I really thought you could handle this responsiblity." Sometimes I would cover my ears because the waiting was absolutely torturous. 

But usually I would stay still inside, barely breathing, muscles tensed, waiting for whatever punishement would be delivered. I would wait for the whispers to turn into statements or screams, fits of rage, or a valley of tears. 

So, I don't like them now. Whispering is bad manners.

The whispers bring back bad memories.

I've always felt like if you can't say something for everyone to hear; you shouldn't say it. I don't think I'm alone in that.